Hey y'all! I know, I know it's been forever. I've gotten quite a few requests for my next blogging expedition. A LOT has happened to me since I last blogged and I mean A LOT. Some good, some...well some not so good.
I've recently purchased the Tapout workout dvd set. Let me just say, I'm not one to stick to anything, but I am trying. It's really been kicking me in the rearend!! Every 2 seconds it tells you to get on the floor and do a pushup...HELLO?! have you seen me?? Do you think it's possible for me to do multiple pushups?? I'll give you the answer...no...no it's not!
I know what you are all thinking...."Is she going to address her recent run-in with her vehicle, Tina the Torrent?" Yes, I'll address it, after the initial shock, you will laugh...how do I know this?? Because everyone that has heard the story goes...OMG, you're so lucky you are ok....hahahahah, I'm not laughing at you, it's just....yeah yeah yeah, you are laughing at me, but it's ok....I laughed at myself after I knew the good lord wasn't ready to take me just yet. I really can't do the story justice unless I am telling you face to face, but here goes........
Quick preface to the story.....I pulled up behind a row of cars so my car was perpendicular to the vehicles that I will later take out!
On a May 18th, I had gotten off work and decided to take our new pup Dixie to the vet (whoops forgot to mention, we got a german shepherd pup...she's so stinking cute!). While on my way to the vet's office, I see my mom at the gas station in Otwell, she waves so I decided to drive over there and say hi. When I pull up, I see she is talking to our friend Nikki. As I sat there and chatted with them for a few minutes, Dixie was in my lap and I had my foot on the brake (why I never put it in park is beyond me, but I didn't). After 5-6 minutes, mom asked if I wanted to get out and see Nikki and Josh's twin boys, I quickly agreed, because let me tell you, they are too cute for words! Throwing caution to the wind, I hopped out of the car with Dixie in my arms and was off to check out these cuties! As I was shutting the door, mom screams, "omg Danielle, your car, it's moving!" I turn back (still with Dixie in my arms) and try to turn the wheel away from the vehicles that it was headed towards. At some point, I threw Dixie to the ground or to Nikki (it's all a blur, not sure what occurred). During the commotion I was pinned between my car door and my car as it was swiping the back of Nikki's van and a couple of other vehicles...as it got to my mom's jeep, the door was able to open up further because her jeep was pulled up farther and the vehicle spit me out to the ground! I was on the ground shaking because of what just happened and was in so much shock that I didn't realize the back tire and sidewall of my car pinched my rear and left one HELLACIOUS bruise and to this day, almost 2 months later, I have a whelp the size of Texas. Ok, obviously not that big, but it's pretty intense.
Where was Tina the Torrent at this point?? Oh ya know, still CRUISING down the FREAKIN ROAD! Mom yells at me to see if I am ok, and I answer blkajdsf;jasd;fasdjf;dsjf;asldfj sdf; I think so kasdf;asjdf;jasfajs;asjdf (blubbering through tears my friends) as she is hollering this she takes off, I mean full on sprint through Otwell, chasing Tina. Tina goes on with no care in the world through an intersection closing in on a house....my mom, bless her soul, grabs the steering wheel and starts to jump in and thinks to herself, "this is how people are killed" and continues to hold on to the wheel and run with Tina....she closed her eyes and took a leap of faith and landed her ass in the front seat and corralled Tina back to her stall (also known as a parking spot). The funniest thing about my mom running through town was, she was wearing a orange shirt, I'm talking road construction, orange cone color shirt. Thank god she has on the proper safety colors as she was chasing my car through Otwell. While all this was happening, all I could say was I AM SO SORRY, I AM SO SORRY, I AM SO SORRY, OMG HOW ARE THE BOYS, I HIT THE BACK OF THE VAN...ARE THEY OK?! Boys were ok and I was safe to carry on to my next stupid stunt. Mom later asked why did you keep apologizing?? During the whole ordeal, I just was so sorry I was dumb enough to get out of my car while it was in park (in a perfect world, my door should have been locked while it was in drive, but my lock was broken AND my car should have taken off as soon as I took my foot off of the brake, but it's not a perfect world and I was able to get out of my car while in drive and it waited until the door was almost closed to take off....whew!) I honestly thought I was going to meet my maker through everything because all I could see was my mom's eyes staring at me in horror as her oldest child was being drug away by a moving vehicle and hear the crunching of the metal.....umm scary!
Let me just tell you one thing about our small town. In about 1.2 seconds people were calling, posting on fb, and texting me to find out if I was ok. Glad to know so many people were concerned! :)
Tina, through all of this, had to take a trip to the spa, otherwise known as Craney's bodyshop in Washington. They did a great job. Next time I'll take Abbott's advice and get ole Tina a leash.
Try explaining this story to the hospital and to a ER doctor that has trouble speaking English. I'm not saying anything bad about her, but it was difficult explaining the story to begin with and then you add a language barrier in there and she probably though I was certifiably INSANE....
Then we have the police officer that comes in there for my statement! Oh lord, this opens another can of worms...he decides he has to call the Pike County Police...yeah, that's where my brother works and I hadn't called to tell him of my recent stupid stunt, and I kindly asked the police if I could call him first, he thought I was crazy when I said I know everyone there, let me just warn them.....until he talked to the dispatcher, who confirmed that I did, indeed know many of the employees at the jail.
During all of this, I'm thinking, "great, they think I am hammered, because honestly....who does that?!" Thankfully they believed that I was sober, however they did question me on a possible pregnancy...when I reassuringly told them, no, I'm not pregnant, the doctor, in front of my mother continues the 20 questions to prove what I had just told her.....one of her many rediculous questions included, why you no pregnant, no sex??? yeah, my mom and I are close and all, but that's not really something you want to talk about in front of her....
I mean, re-living the whole story wears me out allllll over again. It's tough to pull off all the stupid stunts that I do. I really am impressed with myself. I ran myself over AND lived to tell about it. I walked away with a bruised ass and a bruised ego, but again....I'm here!
I've been Martha Stewarting' it up again, making cheesecakes and baking pies....tootin' my own horn as we speak, because they turned out damn good if I do say so myself.
Other than my near death experience, Andrew and I have been keeping busy with working, the recent 4th of July Celebration in our small town, and taking care of our fur babes.
I would say, I'll be back to blog again soon, but I nearly ate concrete today when I tripped over my own shoe....so it's a day to day thing with me...if you get a blog great, but if not, look for me...I'll be the one with the helmet on.....
Remember my friends, save water (it's been a drought), and drink beer....well except for my cousin Amber, because she's adding a baby to the family!! Yee-haw! Couldn't be happier. Sorry for my ever present ADHD. (before posting this I had plans to do the dishes, fold the laundry, and take out scraps......clearly it's in full swing tonight.) oh look a squirrel! ha
Love to all my friends,
And as my Papaw Meyer says, "sis, always remember to put it in park...." So word to the wise my friends, put your car in park...
Mrs. H :)
http://youtu.be/YI68djBj2cc
