Hey y'all! I know, I know it's been forever. I've gotten quite a few requests for my next blogging expedition. A LOT has happened to me since I last blogged and I mean A LOT. Some good, some...well some not so good.
I've recently purchased the Tapout workout dvd set. Let me just say, I'm not one to stick to anything, but I am trying. It's really been kicking me in the rearend!! Every 2 seconds it tells you to get on the floor and do a pushup...HELLO?! have you seen me?? Do you think it's possible for me to do multiple pushups?? I'll give you the answer...no...no it's not!
I know what you are all thinking...."Is she going to address her recent run-in with her vehicle, Tina the Torrent?" Yes, I'll address it, after the initial shock, you will laugh...how do I know this?? Because everyone that has heard the story goes...OMG, you're so lucky you are ok....hahahahah, I'm not laughing at you, it's just....yeah yeah yeah, you are laughing at me, but it's ok....I laughed at myself after I knew the good lord wasn't ready to take me just yet. I really can't do the story justice unless I am telling you face to face, but here goes........
Quick preface to the story.....I pulled up behind a row of cars so my car was perpendicular to the vehicles that I will later take out!
On a May 18th, I had gotten off work and decided to take our new pup Dixie to the vet (whoops forgot to mention, we got a german shepherd pup...she's so stinking cute!). While on my way to the vet's office, I see my mom at the gas station in Otwell, she waves so I decided to drive over there and say hi. When I pull up, I see she is talking to our friend Nikki. As I sat there and chatted with them for a few minutes, Dixie was in my lap and I had my foot on the brake (why I never put it in park is beyond me, but I didn't). After 5-6 minutes, mom asked if I wanted to get out and see Nikki and Josh's twin boys, I quickly agreed, because let me tell you, they are too cute for words! Throwing caution to the wind, I hopped out of the car with Dixie in my arms and was off to check out these cuties! As I was shutting the door, mom screams, "omg Danielle, your car, it's moving!" I turn back (still with Dixie in my arms) and try to turn the wheel away from the vehicles that it was headed towards. At some point, I threw Dixie to the ground or to Nikki (it's all a blur, not sure what occurred). During the commotion I was pinned between my car door and my car as it was swiping the back of Nikki's van and a couple of other vehicles...as it got to my mom's jeep, the door was able to open up further because her jeep was pulled up farther and the vehicle spit me out to the ground! I was on the ground shaking because of what just happened and was in so much shock that I didn't realize the back tire and sidewall of my car pinched my rear and left one HELLACIOUS bruise and to this day, almost 2 months later, I have a whelp the size of Texas. Ok, obviously not that big, but it's pretty intense.
Where was Tina the Torrent at this point?? Oh ya know, still CRUISING down the FREAKIN ROAD! Mom yells at me to see if I am ok, and I answer blkajdsf;jasd;fasdjf;dsjf;asldfj sdf; I think so kasdf;asjdf;jasfajs;asjdf (blubbering through tears my friends) as she is hollering this she takes off, I mean full on sprint through Otwell, chasing Tina. Tina goes on with no care in the world through an intersection closing in on a house....my mom, bless her soul, grabs the steering wheel and starts to jump in and thinks to herself, "this is how people are killed" and continues to hold on to the wheel and run with Tina....she closed her eyes and took a leap of faith and landed her ass in the front seat and corralled Tina back to her stall (also known as a parking spot). The funniest thing about my mom running through town was, she was wearing a orange shirt, I'm talking road construction, orange cone color shirt. Thank god she has on the proper safety colors as she was chasing my car through Otwell. While all this was happening, all I could say was I AM SO SORRY, I AM SO SORRY, I AM SO SORRY, OMG HOW ARE THE BOYS, I HIT THE BACK OF THE VAN...ARE THEY OK?! Boys were ok and I was safe to carry on to my next stupid stunt. Mom later asked why did you keep apologizing?? During the whole ordeal, I just was so sorry I was dumb enough to get out of my car while it was in park (in a perfect world, my door should have been locked while it was in drive, but my lock was broken AND my car should have taken off as soon as I took my foot off of the brake, but it's not a perfect world and I was able to get out of my car while in drive and it waited until the door was almost closed to take off....whew!) I honestly thought I was going to meet my maker through everything because all I could see was my mom's eyes staring at me in horror as her oldest child was being drug away by a moving vehicle and hear the crunching of the metal.....umm scary!
Let me just tell you one thing about our small town. In about 1.2 seconds people were calling, posting on fb, and texting me to find out if I was ok. Glad to know so many people were concerned! :)
Tina, through all of this, had to take a trip to the spa, otherwise known as Craney's bodyshop in Washington. They did a great job. Next time I'll take Abbott's advice and get ole Tina a leash.
Try explaining this story to the hospital and to a ER doctor that has trouble speaking English. I'm not saying anything bad about her, but it was difficult explaining the story to begin with and then you add a language barrier in there and she probably though I was certifiably INSANE....
Then we have the police officer that comes in there for my statement! Oh lord, this opens another can of worms...he decides he has to call the Pike County Police...yeah, that's where my brother works and I hadn't called to tell him of my recent stupid stunt, and I kindly asked the police if I could call him first, he thought I was crazy when I said I know everyone there, let me just warn them.....until he talked to the dispatcher, who confirmed that I did, indeed know many of the employees at the jail.
During all of this, I'm thinking, "great, they think I am hammered, because honestly....who does that?!" Thankfully they believed that I was sober, however they did question me on a possible pregnancy...when I reassuringly told them, no, I'm not pregnant, the doctor, in front of my mother continues the 20 questions to prove what I had just told her.....one of her many rediculous questions included, why you no pregnant, no sex??? yeah, my mom and I are close and all, but that's not really something you want to talk about in front of her....
I mean, re-living the whole story wears me out allllll over again. It's tough to pull off all the stupid stunts that I do. I really am impressed with myself. I ran myself over AND lived to tell about it. I walked away with a bruised ass and a bruised ego, but again....I'm here!
I've been Martha Stewarting' it up again, making cheesecakes and baking pies....tootin' my own horn as we speak, because they turned out damn good if I do say so myself.
Other than my near death experience, Andrew and I have been keeping busy with working, the recent 4th of July Celebration in our small town, and taking care of our fur babes.
I would say, I'll be back to blog again soon, but I nearly ate concrete today when I tripped over my own shoe....so it's a day to day thing with me...if you get a blog great, but if not, look for me...I'll be the one with the helmet on.....
Remember my friends, save water (it's been a drought), and drink beer....well except for my cousin Amber, because she's adding a baby to the family!! Yee-haw! Couldn't be happier. Sorry for my ever present ADHD. (before posting this I had plans to do the dishes, fold the laundry, and take out scraps......clearly it's in full swing tonight.) oh look a squirrel! ha
Love to all my friends,
And as my Papaw Meyer says, "sis, always remember to put it in park...." So word to the wise my friends, put your car in park...
Mrs. H :)
http://youtu.be/YI68djBj2cc
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
A good friend and a glass of wine....
I had heard a song not long ago, that I had forgotten about. Recently a facebook friend of mine had this song on her page. It really puts into perspective what I've been needing here lately. It's called a good friend and a glass of wine...
Who died and crowned me everybody's everything
I'm even busting my butt through the weekend
By the time I get home there's not an ounce of sanity
Between the dogs, my momma's calls
Is it against the law
For me to get what I need
A good friend and a glass of wine
Someone to say it's gonna be alright
A good friend and a glass of wine
A little pick me up to get me through the night
We talk trash n' we laugh and cry
That kind of therapy money can't buy
Every now and then, every now and then
Every girl needs a good friend and a glass of wine
I don't need to jet off to no vacation for a week
I'd be happy to have a happy hour
When I'm tired and I'm fried it gets me right back on my feet
Any kind of red or white, a little sister time
It's every smart girls secret
A good friend and a glass of wine
Someone to say it's gonna be alright
A good friend and a glass of wine
A little pick me up to get me through the night
We talk trash n' we laugh and cry
That kind of therapy money can't buy
Every now and then, every now and then
Every girl needs a good friend and a glass of wine
I'm not saying the whole song pertains to me, but the chorus definitely does. I guess when they say your friends change when you get married, they are right. I still try to talk/keep in touch with people, but it's just not the same. I'd like to visit with my girlfriends more, or find a couple Andrew and I can hang out with more, but with everyones busy life schedules it just doesn't happy that way. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with just my husband and our pooch, but sometimes it's nice just to have someone to call to meet up with for a short while. I've been trying to let go of things and people that aren't good for me and opening up my heart for people that truly care. It's a tough process, but one I think will be good for me in the longrun.
This weekend, I get to go to Indianapolis with my girl Meatball (Ashlynn), I know what you're thinking, "why in the world does she call her meatball?" She calls me Dutch, it's just our thing! Her maid of honor has done a wonderful job of setting everything up for this weekend, she even came up with/found a super cute idea for the theme. It's called wiggin' out. We will all be decked out in our finest wigs when we go out on the town. I tried to find a crazy wig, but I decided to stick with my red Lucille Ball wig. It's a beaut, let me tell you. Although I have no intentions of going out and causing a ruckus, I will be wearing a wig, so I may start an all out bar brawl and run! Ok I'll be honest, it'll be a fast paced walk....we all know I am NO runner. All kidding aside, it'll be nice for some shopping and bachelorette fun with the girls. I couldn't be more happy for my Meatball....She is truly blessed to have found Jeff, the day she told me about him, I knew he was the one for her. Let's just say, I wasn't going to let Meatball go too easily because of a past idiot, but those fears were quickly put aside when I met him. Can't wait to be a part of their special day!
I know it's not wine, but it's good friends and a mug of beer! ;)
Cheers my friends,
Mrs. H
Who died and crowned me everybody's everything
I'm even busting my butt through the weekend
By the time I get home there's not an ounce of sanity
Between the dogs, my momma's calls
Is it against the law
For me to get what I need
A good friend and a glass of wine
Someone to say it's gonna be alright
A good friend and a glass of wine
A little pick me up to get me through the night
We talk trash n' we laugh and cry
That kind of therapy money can't buy
Every now and then, every now and then
Every girl needs a good friend and a glass of wine
I don't need to jet off to no vacation for a week
I'd be happy to have a happy hour
When I'm tired and I'm fried it gets me right back on my feet
Any kind of red or white, a little sister time
It's every smart girls secret
A good friend and a glass of wine
Someone to say it's gonna be alright
A good friend and a glass of wine
A little pick me up to get me through the night
We talk trash n' we laugh and cry
That kind of therapy money can't buy
Every now and then, every now and then
Every girl needs a good friend and a glass of wine
I'm not saying the whole song pertains to me, but the chorus definitely does. I guess when they say your friends change when you get married, they are right. I still try to talk/keep in touch with people, but it's just not the same. I'd like to visit with my girlfriends more, or find a couple Andrew and I can hang out with more, but with everyones busy life schedules it just doesn't happy that way. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with just my husband and our pooch, but sometimes it's nice just to have someone to call to meet up with for a short while. I've been trying to let go of things and people that aren't good for me and opening up my heart for people that truly care. It's a tough process, but one I think will be good for me in the longrun.
This weekend, I get to go to Indianapolis with my girl Meatball (Ashlynn), I know what you're thinking, "why in the world does she call her meatball?" She calls me Dutch, it's just our thing! Her maid of honor has done a wonderful job of setting everything up for this weekend, she even came up with/found a super cute idea for the theme. It's called wiggin' out. We will all be decked out in our finest wigs when we go out on the town. I tried to find a crazy wig, but I decided to stick with my red Lucille Ball wig. It's a beaut, let me tell you. Although I have no intentions of going out and causing a ruckus, I will be wearing a wig, so I may start an all out bar brawl and run! Ok I'll be honest, it'll be a fast paced walk....we all know I am NO runner. All kidding aside, it'll be nice for some shopping and bachelorette fun with the girls. I couldn't be more happy for my Meatball....She is truly blessed to have found Jeff, the day she told me about him, I knew he was the one for her. Let's just say, I wasn't going to let Meatball go too easily because of a past idiot, but those fears were quickly put aside when I met him. Can't wait to be a part of their special day!
I know it's not wine, but it's good friends and a mug of beer! ;)
Cheers my friends,
Mrs. H
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
It's been awhile...
So, it's been quite awhile since my last post.....and let me tell you, a lot of things have happened to dear old me since my last post. Some to be posted, others not to be posted...to save myself from any more embarrassment!
Since my last post, my cooking skills continue to improve and I am keeping the kitchen a tad cleaner during my baking/cooking expeditions. I've recently purchased an apron, an apron that I am SUPER excited about. It's the little things in life that make me happy, like a pretty little apron that says, "D's Kitchen."
I am such a scaredy cat, Andrew recently went out of town, so what did I do?? I called my little brother to come stay with me; however I'm unsure how good of an idea that was since he decided to bust into my room when I was about asleep and scare me HALF TO DEATH! He was laughing hysterically, I, not so much. Unless you have hung out with my family, you wouldn't understand our silly antics, but those of you who have been around us will understand this next part completely.....
After my racing heartbeat calmed down from my near death experience, my brother decided we needed to have "practice drills" incase anyone would try to break in.....he wanted to prove he had quick reflexes and could be there to save me at any given moment...my brother went out into the living room and I had to scream like I was being attacked...you can only imagine what ensued from this point on....he popped into my room rather quickly and proceeded to show me his ninja skills that would save me from any attacker.....let me just say, I love my brother and the silly, crazy things he does for me! Since I am on a roll talking about silly family antics, let me just tell you another story....
My brother, his friend, and what we call our other brother, Justin decided to hog wrastle at the county fair....cheap entertainment folks...well they decided to get in tip top hog wrastlin shape, they jumped into the pool and tried to reach other side as quickly as possible to "grab the pig.." The pig, being me. That's right they threw me in the pool fully clothed to try and catch me. I guess I looked blubbery enough to resemble a pig...what they didn't know was I was older and much wiser...as they were foolishly attempting to cross the pool, I jumped out the other side and squished my way back to the house in my wet clothes...Word to the wise folks, don't try and bullshit a bullshitter.....
My brother and husband have decided that I need to wear a helmet at all times. They think it is detrimental to my health to walk outside of my house without one on my head. During my argument as to why I didn't need one, I ran into the wall, point taken boys, point taken...Here are just a few reasons as to why they came to this conclusion...
1) As I was walking out of the doctors office, I took a sharp turn out of the doorway and ran smack dab into a light securely fixed to the wall....only I would take a hit to the noggin by a light that is attached to a wall...a FREAKIN WALL....as I grasped my head in pain and disbelief, the lady sitting directly in front of this godforsaken light, mouths to me, "oh my god, are you ok???" Yes lady, I am freakin a-ok, just bruised my ego and next time please pretend you didn't seen a darned thing...thank you and have a fabulous day..
2) Reason 2 to why I should supposedly wear a helmet is that I locked myself out of my house, no key, no phone, and no one home. Why you wonder does this have to do with me wearing a helmet?? Refer to reason number 1, this came after I took a hit to the head...I can only assume it was a concussion that lead to me being such an airhead when leaving the house...What did I do you ask?? Well I was wearing Andrew's house shoes that are much too large, and I went stomping across the field to the neighbors house and asked to borrow a cell phone...the conversation went a little like this...."hey mom, can you please bring me a spare key to the house?? mom- yeah I can, but can I ask why?? me- I locked myself out of the damn house and need you to come now.... mom (and neighbor lady) hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha breath hahahahahahahahaha me- click!" I was angry then, but looking back....definitely a lesson learned.....
I would have written sooner dear friends, but I've been nursing my bruised ego....
During my blogging sabbatical, I've been busy cleaning house and planting adorable flowers to make our house look more like a home....
So in closing, stay classy my friends and if life gives you a few bumps in the road....get a damned helmet......
Mrs. H
Since my last post, my cooking skills continue to improve and I am keeping the kitchen a tad cleaner during my baking/cooking expeditions. I've recently purchased an apron, an apron that I am SUPER excited about. It's the little things in life that make me happy, like a pretty little apron that says, "D's Kitchen."
I am such a scaredy cat, Andrew recently went out of town, so what did I do?? I called my little brother to come stay with me; however I'm unsure how good of an idea that was since he decided to bust into my room when I was about asleep and scare me HALF TO DEATH! He was laughing hysterically, I, not so much. Unless you have hung out with my family, you wouldn't understand our silly antics, but those of you who have been around us will understand this next part completely.....
After my racing heartbeat calmed down from my near death experience, my brother decided we needed to have "practice drills" incase anyone would try to break in.....he wanted to prove he had quick reflexes and could be there to save me at any given moment...my brother went out into the living room and I had to scream like I was being attacked...you can only imagine what ensued from this point on....he popped into my room rather quickly and proceeded to show me his ninja skills that would save me from any attacker.....let me just say, I love my brother and the silly, crazy things he does for me! Since I am on a roll talking about silly family antics, let me just tell you another story....
My brother, his friend, and what we call our other brother, Justin decided to hog wrastle at the county fair....cheap entertainment folks...well they decided to get in tip top hog wrastlin shape, they jumped into the pool and tried to reach other side as quickly as possible to "grab the pig.." The pig, being me. That's right they threw me in the pool fully clothed to try and catch me. I guess I looked blubbery enough to resemble a pig...what they didn't know was I was older and much wiser...as they were foolishly attempting to cross the pool, I jumped out the other side and squished my way back to the house in my wet clothes...Word to the wise folks, don't try and bullshit a bullshitter.....
My brother and husband have decided that I need to wear a helmet at all times. They think it is detrimental to my health to walk outside of my house without one on my head. During my argument as to why I didn't need one, I ran into the wall, point taken boys, point taken...Here are just a few reasons as to why they came to this conclusion...
1) As I was walking out of the doctors office, I took a sharp turn out of the doorway and ran smack dab into a light securely fixed to the wall....only I would take a hit to the noggin by a light that is attached to a wall...a FREAKIN WALL....as I grasped my head in pain and disbelief, the lady sitting directly in front of this godforsaken light, mouths to me, "oh my god, are you ok???" Yes lady, I am freakin a-ok, just bruised my ego and next time please pretend you didn't seen a darned thing...thank you and have a fabulous day..
2) Reason 2 to why I should supposedly wear a helmet is that I locked myself out of my house, no key, no phone, and no one home. Why you wonder does this have to do with me wearing a helmet?? Refer to reason number 1, this came after I took a hit to the head...I can only assume it was a concussion that lead to me being such an airhead when leaving the house...What did I do you ask?? Well I was wearing Andrew's house shoes that are much too large, and I went stomping across the field to the neighbors house and asked to borrow a cell phone...the conversation went a little like this...."hey mom, can you please bring me a spare key to the house?? mom- yeah I can, but can I ask why?? me- I locked myself out of the damn house and need you to come now.... mom (and neighbor lady) hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha breath hahahahahahahahaha me- click!" I was angry then, but looking back....definitely a lesson learned.....
I would have written sooner dear friends, but I've been nursing my bruised ego....
During my blogging sabbatical, I've been busy cleaning house and planting adorable flowers to make our house look more like a home....
So in closing, stay classy my friends and if life gives you a few bumps in the road....get a damned helmet......
Mrs. H
Thursday, February 9, 2012
When I feel it....I do it...
Well I'm doing it, writing another blog that is.....
For starters, I just got to see a few more of my wedding pictures and oh hot damn am I excited! Sarah Wellmeier, you rock! Seriously, one of the best, no scratch that, she is the best photographer around! She, along with her assistant Jennifer made our wedding day flow so smoothly and captured great memories in the making! Couldn't be happier!
I just got off the phone with one of my very best friends who just happens to live 11 hours away from me. Usually this doesn't bother me because I know the distance doesn't affect our friendship, but when she is crying on the phone 11 hours away, it makes me want to fly to SC give her a hug then beat the people at David's Bridals rear ends. To my readers, if you like David's Bridal, the following statements may offend you, apologies. I have dealt with DB multiple times....I've always gotten my dresses with little to no problems, that's not it. It's the workers and the customer service I receive when dealing with DB. If there is one thing that pisses me off, it's when people make you feel like you are the scum on their shoe. I'm not pointing out one store or one person, just pointing out that their customer service SUCKS! If I acted the way some people at DB acted, I would be out of a job. Good customer service brings people back for more business.
If ya'll haven't seen Georgia Rule, watch it. Georgia is the grandmother in this movie and when she makes a rule she aims for you follow it. Everytime a rule is made, she says Georgia Rule. Well every once in awhile, there are Danielle Rules...Doesn't flow as nicely as Georgia Rule, but it works.
Danielle Rule
Do not snot rocket (I should clarify...do not snot rocket near water....really you are going to lean over the edge of the pool, snot rocket and get back in...there is always residual...I don't want that in the water near me...) It never ends well for anyone involved, except farmers who have done it their entire lives out in the fields..
When I say stop, or please stop. STOP! If said activity does not cease after that, I will become irritated. I'm not always the nicest when I am irritated. Forewarning ya'll.
Have ya ever sneezed so hard you thought something else was going to explode in your body?? I don't know about anyone else, but I am one hell of a power sneezer. I wish I could pull off a small, simple achoo, however that doesn't not work for me. When I sneeze, my whole body looks like it's performing some techno dance moves. I HATE the anticipation of a sneeze, it's quite possibly the most annoying feeling one could have. Currently, I have the urge to sneeze, but do you think I'm going to sneeze?? No, I'm just going to sit here with this persistant am I gonna sneeze? am I not gonna sneeze feeling.
I have been thinking about my Houtsch How-To column....there will be a new one coming soon, just thinking of some real hum-dingers to add the next time....
I could probably stay and ramble on about just about anything, but I must go attend to my domesticated housewife business....
Oh by the way, the fried chicken I attempted turned out alright. My husband is still alive and breathing...
Have a good one ya'll
Mrs. H
For starters, I just got to see a few more of my wedding pictures and oh hot damn am I excited! Sarah Wellmeier, you rock! Seriously, one of the best, no scratch that, she is the best photographer around! She, along with her assistant Jennifer made our wedding day flow so smoothly and captured great memories in the making! Couldn't be happier!
I just got off the phone with one of my very best friends who just happens to live 11 hours away from me. Usually this doesn't bother me because I know the distance doesn't affect our friendship, but when she is crying on the phone 11 hours away, it makes me want to fly to SC give her a hug then beat the people at David's Bridals rear ends. To my readers, if you like David's Bridal, the following statements may offend you, apologies. I have dealt with DB multiple times....I've always gotten my dresses with little to no problems, that's not it. It's the workers and the customer service I receive when dealing with DB. If there is one thing that pisses me off, it's when people make you feel like you are the scum on their shoe. I'm not pointing out one store or one person, just pointing out that their customer service SUCKS! If I acted the way some people at DB acted, I would be out of a job. Good customer service brings people back for more business.
If ya'll haven't seen Georgia Rule, watch it. Georgia is the grandmother in this movie and when she makes a rule she aims for you follow it. Everytime a rule is made, she says Georgia Rule. Well every once in awhile, there are Danielle Rules...Doesn't flow as nicely as Georgia Rule, but it works.
Danielle Rule
Do not snot rocket (I should clarify...do not snot rocket near water....really you are going to lean over the edge of the pool, snot rocket and get back in...there is always residual...I don't want that in the water near me...) It never ends well for anyone involved, except farmers who have done it their entire lives out in the fields..
When I say stop, or please stop. STOP! If said activity does not cease after that, I will become irritated. I'm not always the nicest when I am irritated. Forewarning ya'll.
Have ya ever sneezed so hard you thought something else was going to explode in your body?? I don't know about anyone else, but I am one hell of a power sneezer. I wish I could pull off a small, simple achoo, however that doesn't not work for me. When I sneeze, my whole body looks like it's performing some techno dance moves. I HATE the anticipation of a sneeze, it's quite possibly the most annoying feeling one could have. Currently, I have the urge to sneeze, but do you think I'm going to sneeze?? No, I'm just going to sit here with this persistant am I gonna sneeze? am I not gonna sneeze feeling.
I have been thinking about my Houtsch How-To column....there will be a new one coming soon, just thinking of some real hum-dingers to add the next time....
I could probably stay and ramble on about just about anything, but I must go attend to my domesticated housewife business....
Oh by the way, the fried chicken I attempted turned out alright. My husband is still alive and breathing...
Have a good one ya'll
Mrs. H
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Drink in my hand.....
The title to my post explains how my day has went. When one works in a long term care facility more commonly known as a Nursing Home, one never knows what to expect. I try, to keep an open mind about things knowing there is a disease process that explains why most people in these facilities act the way they do. Today, though I'm not sure that there is any one thing that could explain what happened. I would tell my fellow bloggers the story of what happened, however 1) that would be a big no no and 2) no one wants to hear what happened (honest!). Only fellow long term care workers would come close to understanding. I can't begin to wrap my mind around it. Although after a nice, long, hot shower I'm starting to feel much better (or, that could be the strong drink I just mixed talking).
You know in my last Houtsch How-To column where I addressed if you are having a bad day uncork the nearest bottle of wine or go to your liquor carousel?? Well I am following my own advice today. I got out of the shower, got dressed, and made a beeline for the liqour carousel. Our carousel currently houses a bottle of vodka, captain, seagrams 7, and malibu mango. I voted crown, although I'm not sure how that bottle would fit. If you haven't tried the drink I am about to explain yet, it's a must. Take 3 shots of mango malibu in a stemless wineglass, add ice, and a splash of sprite. Stir it up a bit and waaaaa lahh, you have a fabulous drink.
Back to the nursing home story. It was the kind of day where my co-worker Autumn said she would go home and have a drink for me. That's true friendship right there folks. The friends that drink together, stay together. Or atleast that's what I think.
Happy Groundhogs day y'all. If I could find that little Punxatawney Phil, I would kick his furry ass. So we are going to have 6 more weeks of winter?? Fine, but can you add a little snow. I'm all about this 60 weather in March/April, but not January/February. This is the time of year for SNOW! If Mr. Groundhog was around these parts, there is no way he could have seen his shadow because of all the fog. I think this is the first time in all of Pike Centrals years as a highschool to not have a 2 hour delay or cancel school because of fog. You heard it right folks, Pike Central actually started on time. I nearly fell out of my chair when I heard it myself.
I came across a person today that had never tried fried pickles. I could not believe what my ears were hearing....there are actually people in the United States of America that have not tried fried pickles??? They must be crazy! This person was even born in Indiana. It's my new mission to make sure every person I meet has tried fried pickles. It's just not American.
I know what you are all thinking, and I agree. This isn't my best post as of late. I'm just still a little bit in shock from today. I know you are all sitting on the edge of your seats in wonderment of what actually happened. Keep wondering my friends...because this is one little secret I will not tell. Promise.
Since there is only one song that comes to mind after today, I feel the need to share it....
Have a strong drink and a great day,
Mrs. H
Drink in my hand
You know in my last Houtsch How-To column where I addressed if you are having a bad day uncork the nearest bottle of wine or go to your liquor carousel?? Well I am following my own advice today. I got out of the shower, got dressed, and made a beeline for the liqour carousel. Our carousel currently houses a bottle of vodka, captain, seagrams 7, and malibu mango. I voted crown, although I'm not sure how that bottle would fit. If you haven't tried the drink I am about to explain yet, it's a must. Take 3 shots of mango malibu in a stemless wineglass, add ice, and a splash of sprite. Stir it up a bit and waaaaa lahh, you have a fabulous drink.
Back to the nursing home story. It was the kind of day where my co-worker Autumn said she would go home and have a drink for me. That's true friendship right there folks. The friends that drink together, stay together. Or atleast that's what I think.
Happy Groundhogs day y'all. If I could find that little Punxatawney Phil, I would kick his furry ass. So we are going to have 6 more weeks of winter?? Fine, but can you add a little snow. I'm all about this 60 weather in March/April, but not January/February. This is the time of year for SNOW! If Mr. Groundhog was around these parts, there is no way he could have seen his shadow because of all the fog. I think this is the first time in all of Pike Centrals years as a highschool to not have a 2 hour delay or cancel school because of fog. You heard it right folks, Pike Central actually started on time. I nearly fell out of my chair when I heard it myself.
I came across a person today that had never tried fried pickles. I could not believe what my ears were hearing....there are actually people in the United States of America that have not tried fried pickles??? They must be crazy! This person was even born in Indiana. It's my new mission to make sure every person I meet has tried fried pickles. It's just not American.
I know what you are all thinking, and I agree. This isn't my best post as of late. I'm just still a little bit in shock from today. I know you are all sitting on the edge of your seats in wonderment of what actually happened. Keep wondering my friends...because this is one little secret I will not tell. Promise.
Since there is only one song that comes to mind after today, I feel the need to share it....
Have a strong drink and a great day,
Mrs. H
Drink in my hand
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Tuesdays gone.......(well almost)
It's been almost a week since my last blogging session. I've been a busy bee trying to keep the house clean, the laundry folded and put away, and the dishes washed. You wouldn't think this housekeeping stuff for 2 people would keep you so busy but, it does. The majority of the mess is from myself, I'll admit, since I've recently taken up this whole cooking thing. Whatever I am making generally ends up on myself and all over the countertop and surrounding areas. Take for example: I was making chicken alfredo, sounds delicious right?? Well I was heating the alfredo sauce up in a smaller pan before mixing it in with my chicken and fettucine noodles... Needless to say, the ADD in me decided that while I was heating up the alfredo, I needed to start the dishes so I would have less to clean up after the meal was finished.....that didn't so much work out the way I was planning for it too because in a few short seconds I had alfredo flying all over my kitchen like a volcano had just erupted. I've never moved so fast in my life. Andrew comes running in shaking his head in disbelief that I had somehow managed to spray the kitchen with alfredo. My new goal is to contain my cooking to one area in the kitchen..however I'll keep you all updated on how well that goes. I feel like I am Paula Deen herself when I have all her cookware strewn across my kitchen. Ok, we all know I am not her, but I am working on it!
Enough about my messiness in the kitchen...even though it's a real hot subject! My boston terrier has recently moved from my parents house to live with Andrew and I. We LOVE having our fur baby back around. However, we still miss our Angus very much and are hoping to purchase another bulldog in our future so Miss Frenchy can have a playmate. Remember how earlier I was still trying to adjust to sleeping in my bed with my husband?? Well add a dog into the mix, no sleep for me. I wouldn't have it any other way though, love my husband and our pooch.
I'll admit, I am a jumpy person by nature. So it seems only right that I am extra jumpy in our new home. I have not adjusted to the sounds in our new house just yet and I'll be glad when I do. I'll wake up in the middle of the night to the sounds of the icemaker thinking someone is trying to come into our house. I think Andrew will be glad when I get acclamated to the sounds too because I've woken him up a few times due to my jumpiness. Whoops!
I could ramble on about my super exciting life all day, but I must go attempt to cook a new dinner entree. I'll let you know how it goes. But, for now, a new list of Houtsch How-Tos....
Houtsch How To's Edition 2:
How to maintain proper body mechanics....
If lifting an item keep load close to your body while maintaining the natural curve in your back. Spread feet to get a good base of support when lifting. Make sure to lift with your legs and not your back. Even if you aren't lifting something, make sure to maintain proper body mechanics at all times and during all activities to avoid straining your back. Always remember it's better to push than to pull. Just a healthy how to for you all out there.
How to use your common sense...
Alright everyone, this seems to be a tough one for a lot of people. It's really not that hard. If you think it is ethically and morally wrong, you probably shouldn't be doing it. Think before you speak, it gives you a little time to gather your thoughts before you blurt out something completely ridiculous. Ask a friend before doing something stupid. It's always better to have two heads than one. So if you mess up and do something wrong, you're not the only one that looks stupid. If all else fails, ask me. I'll assist you the best way possible.
How to unwind after a long, hard day.
Go home, uncork the nearest wine bottle and drink. If the first step doesn't work, repeat until your day has gotten better. If wine doesn't work, hit up the liquor carousel, you don't have one you say?? Go to your nearest Bed, Bath, and Beyond and purchase one. It's quite delightful.
How to end a converstion with a dreaded telemarketer....
When you have exhausted all truthful options and they keep on talking...either fabricate some long drawn out story on why you can't afford to donate or hang up immediately. I don't mind to donate when possible, but with a new house and the bills that come along with it, I'm sorry, but it just won't work. When I tell you I don't want to donate at this time, don't keep nagging, that's one way to really set me off. It's either click, goodbye or I make up a really great story. Sometimes if you keep talking so much, they end up hanging up on you. I get that it's a job, I do but please respect my decisions and my privacy.
Hope you all find February with good health and good spirits (the alcoholic kind)!
Mrs. H
Enough about my messiness in the kitchen...even though it's a real hot subject! My boston terrier has recently moved from my parents house to live with Andrew and I. We LOVE having our fur baby back around. However, we still miss our Angus very much and are hoping to purchase another bulldog in our future so Miss Frenchy can have a playmate. Remember how earlier I was still trying to adjust to sleeping in my bed with my husband?? Well add a dog into the mix, no sleep for me. I wouldn't have it any other way though, love my husband and our pooch.
I'll admit, I am a jumpy person by nature. So it seems only right that I am extra jumpy in our new home. I have not adjusted to the sounds in our new house just yet and I'll be glad when I do. I'll wake up in the middle of the night to the sounds of the icemaker thinking someone is trying to come into our house. I think Andrew will be glad when I get acclamated to the sounds too because I've woken him up a few times due to my jumpiness. Whoops!
I could ramble on about my super exciting life all day, but I must go attempt to cook a new dinner entree. I'll let you know how it goes. But, for now, a new list of Houtsch How-Tos....
Houtsch How To's Edition 2:
How to maintain proper body mechanics....
If lifting an item keep load close to your body while maintaining the natural curve in your back. Spread feet to get a good base of support when lifting. Make sure to lift with your legs and not your back. Even if you aren't lifting something, make sure to maintain proper body mechanics at all times and during all activities to avoid straining your back. Always remember it's better to push than to pull. Just a healthy how to for you all out there.
How to use your common sense...
Alright everyone, this seems to be a tough one for a lot of people. It's really not that hard. If you think it is ethically and morally wrong, you probably shouldn't be doing it. Think before you speak, it gives you a little time to gather your thoughts before you blurt out something completely ridiculous. Ask a friend before doing something stupid. It's always better to have two heads than one. So if you mess up and do something wrong, you're not the only one that looks stupid. If all else fails, ask me. I'll assist you the best way possible.
How to unwind after a long, hard day.
Go home, uncork the nearest wine bottle and drink. If the first step doesn't work, repeat until your day has gotten better. If wine doesn't work, hit up the liquor carousel, you don't have one you say?? Go to your nearest Bed, Bath, and Beyond and purchase one. It's quite delightful.
How to end a converstion with a dreaded telemarketer....
When you have exhausted all truthful options and they keep on talking...either fabricate some long drawn out story on why you can't afford to donate or hang up immediately. I don't mind to donate when possible, but with a new house and the bills that come along with it, I'm sorry, but it just won't work. When I tell you I don't want to donate at this time, don't keep nagging, that's one way to really set me off. It's either click, goodbye or I make up a really great story. Sometimes if you keep talking so much, they end up hanging up on you. I get that it's a job, I do but please respect my decisions and my privacy.
Hope you all find February with good health and good spirits (the alcoholic kind)!
Mrs. H
Thursday, January 26, 2012
New at this....
I never thought I would be one to start a blog, but here lately I've been thinking it will become my outlet to exercise my freedom of speech. I am almost positive I was born to be a comedian, or atleast make an appearance on the Chelsea Lately roundtable, so I'm hoping my blog will shoot me straight to stardom.
I've recently become married and I am still trying my best to adjust to being around my husband all the time. It's difficult after spending so many years laying cross ways, upside down, cockeyed, spread eagle, etc in your own bed to have to sleep in one spot everynight because your sharing the bed with someone else. Let's just say I've been a little tired the last few days, because it's not as easy as I would have hoped to adjust to sharing my bed. Ha.
We just got back from our honeymoon and yet I am already ready for another vacation. Seems as though work became ridiculously crazy while I was gone. Let's just say I missed my co-workers (well a few of them) and not much else. I am still trying to adjust to becoming a domesticated housewife. Those of you that know me well, know that I moved back in with mom, pops, and the baby bro. My mom is great, she did all the domesticated things such as cooking and cleaning. I'd occasionally help out, not enough I know, but hey, I said occasionally atleast. Living with your parents at the age of 24 isn't bad, however when I moved out, I'm still trying to figure out how my mom accomplished it all for 4 people. Hell, 2 people is enough for me. I'm still trying to master my mom's homemade gravy. I'll never get it.
I've recently noticed that I've been thinking more and more about drinking large quantities of alcohol when I get home from work. Ok, so that sounds a bit alcoholic-ish, but it's the truth. I don't necessarily come home and booze myself into a drunken coma, but I've thought about it frequently.
Here lately, I've had a lot of thoughts come to mind that I wish I would be able to just blurt out, but in order to save tears from being shed from others from what is spewing out of my mouth, I've decided to swallow my words and throw hate darts instead. Hate darts, you ask??? That's one of those looks that after your royally ticked me off, that if I could shoot darts of hatred out of my eyes, they would reach you. That sounds harsh...I know, believe me. But, I feel as though some feel so entitled that they need to be knocked off their high horse a time or two.
I sound quite bitter in the prior paragraphs, when in reality, it's quite the opposite. I'm an extremely happy individual and I take delight in making others smile. I just feel as though sometimes things need to be said. In closing, I've come up with an idea that I think will make me the queen of the Twitter world.... The Houtsch How-Tos....what's this you ask?? It's kind of like a here's your sign, only a how-to get through your day without being a dumbass....
The 1st Houtsch How-To edition:
How to not piss of your boss:
*Come to work at starting time, get down to business, and complete all your work before you leave for the day. Sounds simple right?
How to accomplish said tasks:
*Lay off the cellphone....there is a lunch break or other small breaks throughout the day to utilize the cell phone. Yes I realize, this how-to is one I need to work on.
How to offer a helping hand to a friend:
*send a text, make a call, facebook a friend...all these let your friends know your still there..a friend may not need much, but every once in a while above suggestions make the difference between a crappy day and a great one
How to get yourself away from a dumbass boyfriend/girlfriend:
*Wake up, smell the stench of asshole and run. You are better than that. I know, I know, but he/she will come around they always do...they really love me, they just have a hard time showing it, I didn't see him/her cheat so when they say they didn't do it, I have to believe them...yeah, I've been there...I kicked my own ass for that one. You can do better, you will do better. I did.
Just a few Houtsch How-To teasers. There will be a new Houtsch How-To column coming to a computer near you soon.
Have a fabulous day my friends...
Mrs. H
I've recently become married and I am still trying my best to adjust to being around my husband all the time. It's difficult after spending so many years laying cross ways, upside down, cockeyed, spread eagle, etc in your own bed to have to sleep in one spot everynight because your sharing the bed with someone else. Let's just say I've been a little tired the last few days, because it's not as easy as I would have hoped to adjust to sharing my bed. Ha.
We just got back from our honeymoon and yet I am already ready for another vacation. Seems as though work became ridiculously crazy while I was gone. Let's just say I missed my co-workers (well a few of them) and not much else. I am still trying to adjust to becoming a domesticated housewife. Those of you that know me well, know that I moved back in with mom, pops, and the baby bro. My mom is great, she did all the domesticated things such as cooking and cleaning. I'd occasionally help out, not enough I know, but hey, I said occasionally atleast. Living with your parents at the age of 24 isn't bad, however when I moved out, I'm still trying to figure out how my mom accomplished it all for 4 people. Hell, 2 people is enough for me. I'm still trying to master my mom's homemade gravy. I'll never get it.
I've recently noticed that I've been thinking more and more about drinking large quantities of alcohol when I get home from work. Ok, so that sounds a bit alcoholic-ish, but it's the truth. I don't necessarily come home and booze myself into a drunken coma, but I've thought about it frequently.
Here lately, I've had a lot of thoughts come to mind that I wish I would be able to just blurt out, but in order to save tears from being shed from others from what is spewing out of my mouth, I've decided to swallow my words and throw hate darts instead. Hate darts, you ask??? That's one of those looks that after your royally ticked me off, that if I could shoot darts of hatred out of my eyes, they would reach you. That sounds harsh...I know, believe me. But, I feel as though some feel so entitled that they need to be knocked off their high horse a time or two.
I sound quite bitter in the prior paragraphs, when in reality, it's quite the opposite. I'm an extremely happy individual and I take delight in making others smile. I just feel as though sometimes things need to be said. In closing, I've come up with an idea that I think will make me the queen of the Twitter world.... The Houtsch How-Tos....what's this you ask?? It's kind of like a here's your sign, only a how-to get through your day without being a dumbass....
The 1st Houtsch How-To edition:
How to not piss of your boss:
*Come to work at starting time, get down to business, and complete all your work before you leave for the day. Sounds simple right?
How to accomplish said tasks:
*Lay off the cellphone....there is a lunch break or other small breaks throughout the day to utilize the cell phone. Yes I realize, this how-to is one I need to work on.
How to offer a helping hand to a friend:
*send a text, make a call, facebook a friend...all these let your friends know your still there..a friend may not need much, but every once in a while above suggestions make the difference between a crappy day and a great one
How to get yourself away from a dumbass boyfriend/girlfriend:
*Wake up, smell the stench of asshole and run. You are better than that. I know, I know, but he/she will come around they always do...they really love me, they just have a hard time showing it, I didn't see him/her cheat so when they say they didn't do it, I have to believe them...yeah, I've been there...I kicked my own ass for that one. You can do better, you will do better. I did.
Just a few Houtsch How-To teasers. There will be a new Houtsch How-To column coming to a computer near you soon.
Have a fabulous day my friends...
Mrs. H
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