New at this....

I never thought I would be one to start a blog, but here lately I've been thinking it will become my outlet to exercise my freedom of speech.  I am almost positive I was born to be a comedian, or atleast make an appearance on the Chelsea Lately roundtable, so I'm hoping my blog will shoot me straight to stardom.

I've recently become married and I am still trying my best to adjust to being around my husband all the time.  It's difficult after spending so many years laying cross ways, upside down, cockeyed, spread eagle, etc in your own bed to have to sleep in one spot everynight because your sharing the bed with someone else.  Let's just say I've been a little tired the last few days, because it's not as easy as I would have hoped to adjust to sharing my bed.  Ha.

We just got back from our honeymoon and yet I am already ready for another vacation.  Seems as though work became ridiculously crazy while I was gone.  Let's just say I missed my co-workers (well a few of them) and not much else.  I am still trying to adjust to becoming a domesticated housewife.  Those of you that know me well, know that I moved back in with mom, pops, and the baby bro.  My mom is great, she did all the domesticated things such as cooking and cleaning.  I'd occasionally help out, not enough I know, but hey, I said occasionally atleast.  Living with your parents at the age of 24 isn't bad, however when I moved out, I'm still trying to figure out how my mom accomplished it all for 4 people.  Hell, 2 people is enough for me.  I'm still trying to master my mom's homemade gravy.  I'll never get it.

I've recently noticed that I've been thinking more and more about drinking large quantities of alcohol when I get home from work.  Ok, so that sounds a bit alcoholic-ish, but it's the truth.  I don't necessarily come home and booze myself into a drunken coma, but I've thought about it frequently.

Here lately, I've had a lot of thoughts come to mind that I wish I would be able to just blurt out, but in order to save tears from being shed from others from what is spewing out of my mouth, I've decided to swallow my words and throw hate darts instead.  Hate darts, you ask??? That's one of those looks that after your royally ticked me off, that if I could shoot darts of hatred out of my eyes, they would reach you.  That sounds harsh...I know, believe me.  But, I feel as though some feel so entitled that they need to be knocked off their high horse a time or two.

I sound quite bitter in the prior paragraphs, when in reality, it's quite the opposite.  I'm an extremely happy individual and I take delight in making others smile.  I just feel as though sometimes things need to be said.  In closing, I've come up with an idea that I think will make me the queen of the Twitter world.... The Houtsch How-Tos....what's this you ask??  It's kind of like a here's your sign, only a how-to get through your day without being a dumbass....

The 1st Houtsch How-To edition:

How to not piss of your boss:
*Come to work at starting time, get down to business, and complete all your work before you leave for the day.  Sounds simple right? 

How to accomplish said tasks:
*Lay off the cellphone....there is a lunch break or other small breaks throughout the day to utilize the cell phone.  Yes I realize, this how-to is one I need to work on.

How to offer a helping hand to a friend:
*send a text, make a call, facebook a friend...all these let your friends know your still there..a friend may not need much, but every once in a while above suggestions make the difference between a crappy day and a great one

How to get yourself away from a dumbass boyfriend/girlfriend:
*Wake up, smell the stench of asshole and run.  You are better than that.  I know, I know, but he/she will come around they always do...they really love me, they just have a hard time showing it, I didn't see him/her cheat so when they say they didn't do it, I have to believe them...yeah, I've been there...I kicked my own ass for that one.  You can do better, you will do better.  I did.

Just a few Houtsch How-To teasers.  There will be a new Houtsch How-To column coming to a computer near you soon.

Have a fabulous day my friends...

Mrs. H