It's been awhile...

So, it's been quite awhile since my last post.....and let me tell you, a lot of things have happened to dear old me since my last post.  Some to be posted, others not to be posted...to save myself from any more embarrassment! 

Since my last post, my cooking skills continue to improve and I am keeping the kitchen a tad cleaner during my baking/cooking expeditions.  I've recently purchased an apron, an apron that I am SUPER excited about.  It's the little things in life that make me happy, like a pretty little apron that says, "D's Kitchen."

I am such a scaredy cat, Andrew recently went out of town, so what did I do?? I called my little brother to come stay with me; however I'm unsure how good of an idea that was since he decided to bust into my room when I was about asleep and scare me HALF TO DEATH!  He was laughing hysterically, I, not so much.  Unless you have hung out with my family, you wouldn't understand our silly antics, but those of you who have been around us will understand this next part completely.....

After my racing heartbeat calmed down from my near death experience, my brother decided we needed to have "practice drills" incase anyone would try to break in.....he wanted to prove he had quick reflexes and could be there to save me at any given moment...my brother went out into the living room and I had to scream like I was being attacked...you can only imagine what ensued from this point on....he popped into my room rather quickly and proceeded to show me his ninja skills that would save me from any attacker.....let me just say, I love my brother and the silly, crazy things he does for me!  Since I am on a roll talking about silly family antics, let me just tell you another story....

My brother, his friend, and what we call our other brother, Justin decided to hog wrastle at the county fair....cheap entertainment folks...well they decided to get in tip top hog wrastlin shape, they jumped into the pool and tried to reach other side as quickly as possible to "grab the pig.."  The pig, being me.  That's right they threw me in the pool fully clothed to try and catch me.  I guess I looked blubbery enough to resemble a pig...what they didn't know was I was older and much wiser...as they were foolishly attempting to cross the pool, I jumped out the other side and squished my way back to the house in my wet clothes...Word to the wise folks, don't try and bullshit a bullshitter.....

My brother and husband have decided that I need to wear a helmet at all times.  They think it is detrimental to my health to walk outside of my house without one on my head. During my argument as to why I didn't need one, I ran into the wall, point taken boys, point taken...Here are just a few reasons as to why they came to this conclusion...

1) As I was walking out of the doctors office, I took a sharp turn out of the doorway and ran smack dab into a light securely fixed to the wall....only I would take a hit to the noggin by a light that is attached to a wall...a FREAKIN WALL....as I grasped my head in pain and disbelief, the lady sitting directly in front of this godforsaken light, mouths to me, "oh my god, are you ok???" Yes lady, I am freakin a-ok, just bruised my ego and next time please pretend you didn't seen a darned thing...thank you and have a fabulous day..

2) Reason 2 to why I should supposedly wear a helmet is that I locked myself out of my house, no key, no phone, and no one home.  Why you wonder does this have to do with me wearing a helmet?? Refer to reason number 1, this came after I took a hit to the head...I can only assume it was a concussion that lead to me being such an airhead when leaving the house...What did I do you ask??  Well I was wearing Andrew's house shoes that are much too large, and I went stomping across the field to the neighbors house and asked to borrow a cell phone...the conversation went a little like this...."hey mom, can you please bring me a spare key to the house?? mom- yeah I can, but can I ask why?? me- I locked myself out of the damn house and need you to come now.... mom (and neighbor lady) hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha breath hahahahahahahahaha me- click!" I was angry then, but looking back....definitely a lesson learned.....

I would have written sooner dear friends, but I've been nursing my bruised ego....
During my blogging sabbatical, I've been busy cleaning house and planting adorable flowers to make our house look more like a home....

So in closing, stay classy my friends and if life gives you a few bumps in the road....get a damned helmet......

Mrs. H